Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Stagnant

I feel like my diabetes management is standing still right now. I don't think I'm doing awful, but I'm not expecting much change from the 6.8 A1C I had a couple of months ago. My next appointment is in May. I'm actually more concerned about my cholesterol reading - I suppose I'm just dreading getting into an argument about whether or not I need to be placed on statins.

Nothing really remarkable, but I'll remark anyway. I'm not eating as well as I could be. If I have bad blood sugars they are almost always related to something I'm shoveling in my mouth that I really didn't need to eat. And I bet it's not making my cholesterol go down. Maybe I'm just slightly depressed or out of it these days because I'm unhappy at work. (And since work is most of your life, I guess I'm unhappy most of the time.) Maybe my whole LIFE is just standing still.

Sometimes my fasting is fine. Sometimes it's not. I can't seem to nail down a pattern. Last night I went to bed with a 91, and woke up at 143. Bleh. The other day I went to bed at 198 with a correction bolus, and woke up at 81. So maybe 198 is better to sleep on, ha. Anyway that's not a typical pattern. I feel bored when I think about it, but I'd rather be interested!

Where I'd really like to be diabetes-wise is getting my A1C as close to 6.0 or under. To be exercising regularly, too. I want to prepare to have a child, but I'm having trouble finding the motivation to finish my damn state taxes let alone keep detailed blood sugar records. Doesn't help that I have two states to file taxes for, either. (Thanks again, job.)

I wish I had the guts to do what everyone else says - if you aren't happy, say see ya! Not that easy when there's health insurance, a wedding to pay for, and everything else on the horizon.

Oh, I did confirm that business traveling and blood sugars aren't friends. I've been on the road since March 6 - first in Dallas and then in Indianapolis. Vacation travel is different because I'm up and walking around, being active . . . and feeling really happy, which usually has a positive effect on blood sugars. Business travel I'm exhausted. I sit around in an inadequate office all day. I eat a lunch with clients. I go back to the office and sit around. Stress. I have a big dinner. Per diem, baby! I go back to the hotel and lay around watching Gilmore Girls reruns and trying not to give into cravings to go to the vending machine and get a huge effing Snickers bar. I can't survive on salads all damn week, and even if I did, it's not a guarantee of level blood sugars.

At least I'm home for a couple of weeks now . . . and something to celebrate: I'm getting new glasses tonight! "I can SEE, it's a MIRACLE!" :)

3 comments:

julia said...

Hey, thanks for commenting on my blog. How on earth did you find a post from so far back?

Do you mind if I add you to my blogroll? I'm always interested in reading about women with type 1. My daughter is 12 and has had it for 9.5 years now. I think it helps to hear what young women are going thru with their diabetes management. And it reassures me that things can be fine. NOt great all the time, but fine.

Kendra said...

Absolutely you can add me to ye olde blogroll! I found you by scrolling through Amy T's blog roll. (diabetesmine.com) The title of your blog appealed to me :) It's a wonderful, wonderful blog...I have been snatching 10 minute increments of reading time to break up the monotony here at work. It's not often you find a woman who isn't constantly worrying about stepping on someone else's toes.

Cory said...

Ugh Kendra I'm right there with ya...although you seem to be doing MUCH better at keeping it managed haha...I am in such a slump these days-I know all the stress isn't helping, but it's so frustrating to not see any good numbers for weeks at a time...and then having days of doing every. little. thing. you know you are supposed to do and STILL not getting great numbers-ugh-makes me want to just throw in the towel at times...although I know I won't. I'm glad you are home for a bit. Time to rest.