NSTs are my favorite things ever.

As of Friday, May 16, 2008, I will be a free woman. At least from work. That's when the maternity leave starts.

But then looking at my calendar, not so free actually.

May 9, NST.
May 12, endocrinologist appointment.
May 13, NST.
May 14, my last childbirth preparation class (and my husband's birthday!)
May 16, NST.
May 20, NST.
May 23, NST.
May 27, NST.
May 30, NST.

Diabetes sure has a way of clogging your calendar. Those NSTs are happening twice a week until I give birth...NSTs are my LIFE. Oh yeah, and that birth thing? That's got a date, too -- June 10. I'm kind of hoping the baby decides to come on his own around 38 weeks or so. My biggest birth-related fear right now is that I will go in for a 39 week induction and my body will not be ready at all, and I'll end up with a c-section. My perinatologists did not do much to assuage this fear; I just got a staunch "You can not go past 39 weeks" reply. (Am not impressed with bedside manner of 3/4 of these docs, by the way.) If I'm already at the hospital twice a week for NSTs, why not bump those up in frequency and give my body some more time?

I'm hoping I'm worrying for nothing, and I am appreciative of the close monitoring, no matter how much unfun it is to lug my 8 months pregnant self all over the hospital campus twice a week. I still have to say though that as time goes on I am not impressed with this high risk practice. Yes, I have diabetes, but that doesn't mean I should be be treated as "one size fits all" -- as if I have had diabetes for 30 years and my A1C is 15 and my pregnancy has been difficult and horrible and the baby is on the verge of death at any minute.

I've had lots of confusing conversations like this:

Doctor, glancing at my chart for .2 seconds: "Oh, you're only a class B diabetic. That's great, you really have no complications! Everything is fine, see you next week!"
Me: "Wait, wait. So if I'm doing great, is there a possibility you'll let me go into labor on my own if everything looks fine with the baby and myself?"
Doctor: "NO WAY!!!!!111 PLACENTAL AGING!!111 FETAL DEATH!!111eleventy"
Me: "What about in the hospital? Can I get up and walk around some during the induction...?"
Doctor: "NO WAY, MUST LAY IN BED WHOLE TIME ON MONITORS!!11 FETAL DEATH!1111"

Holy crap. Maybe I should be more of a nervous wreck about this? I'd really rather not be, though. My endo seems very chill and has given me a lot of confidence.

Maybe it's not so much the high risk practice in particular as it is me getting tired of dealing with medical providers who aren't very well versed in diabetes, and therefore the care I receive is very rote, or totally over the top. They reads the book and they dos what the book says and that's all folks.

Bonus uplifting part of post --> BABY PICTURE!

What's the point?

It's a boy! :) After a week chock full o' doctors appointments (endo on Monday, pediatric cardiologist on Wednesday, perinatologist this morning) the baby is looking fine and dandy. We've decided to name him Jason and the nursery is coming together nicely. I'm so excited . . . but at the same time I'm going through a strangely boring period of the pregnancy. I guess I'm not big enough to be super uncomfortable yet.

My blood sugars were less than great last week, but my endo cleared things up for me. I went in with a week's worth of charts and a list of suggested changes, all of which she agreed with - but I let her do the math. Now my I:C ratios have me staring in shock when the bolus wizard calculates a dose, but I was prepared for this by years of community participation at Diabetic Mommy. I'm down to 1:5 at breakfast and 1:7 the rest of the day - holy cow! She said to expect the insulin resistance to ramp up and up from this point on. In the meantime it feels REALLY strange to take 10 units of insulin for breakfast, when I usually take 2 . . . but I can't argue with the numbers this week. They've been awesome. My most recent A1C was 5.4, up from the 4.8 but still great in my opinion.

We had a fetal echo cardiogram performed to check for any defects in Jason's heart. The tech and the cardiologist both asked me why I was there with a quizzical look on their faces - and although my response of "I have Type I diabetes" seemed explanation enough, the doc still seemed a little nonplussed as to what the fuss was about. She said, "His heart looks perfect," and sent me on my way.

Today was a routine check-up at the high risk OB's. I'm going twice a month now (and at 32 weeks will go twice a week, ouch) . . . I had the gall to ask the doc what the purpose of the visit was, and she seemed a little put out and didn't answer me right away. "You are just checking up on things then, I guess?" I offered, and she said yes. Ooooohkay. So I take a two hour chunk out of my day to tell her things I could tell her over the phone in 2 minutes (how are my sugars, what is your A1C) - and she gave the baby only a cursory glance on the ultrasound screen. "Look, there is his heart beating." Yeah lady, I know, I stared at his heart beating for 35 minutes yesterday. I could've told her he was still alive as he was kicking me at that very moment, and she didn't take the time to see if there was anything else to note besides his heart.

So, I'm trying to take away what is important and what isn't from my first experience as a pregnant Type I. I think the AFP and nuchal translucency tests are worthwhile. I think the echo cardiogram was worth it, kinda, although after getting an all clear at my Level II ultrasound it did seem redundant. I'm not sure that I will be running to a high risk practice with my second child, though - I feel like my doctors are honestly bored with me and don't spend very much time with me at all, even though this is my first pregnancy. They look, they see nothing to alarm them, and they shoo me out of the door. Next time I may try to go with a single OB - and let him/her refer me to a peri as needed.

I'm very relieved that thus far my diabetes hasn't had an impact on Jason, but I am a little disenchanted with the high risk fuss. I'm pouring out a lot of money in copays on people that ask me why I'm there (shouldn't they know?), or expect a lot out of me (do this do that wait an hour to be seen by me just to have me ask what's your A1C), but don't give a heck of a lot back (okay well, we're done here, bye).